As I sit here thinking of how much the scale displayed at my last prenatal appointment, I can’t help but hear that little voice inside my head, softly whispering “wow that’s a lot, but don’t worry, you’ll feel pretty and be happy again once you lose the weight.”
While I know that pregnancy comes with weight gain, as well as other major things in life like periods, stress, the list goes on… my brain doesn’t care about the logical reasonings for gaining weight. It only cringes at seeing a higher number on the scale, triggering the thought process it’s been programmed to fire off my entire life: weight gain = unhappiness, therefore weight loss = happiness.
But the truth is, I know better – we all know better! Happiness is not a number on the scale.
Even when I was a size 4 (yep, a 4) I wasn’t happy. I hated myself for restricting calories, obsessing about food and exercise and I was always mentally and physically exhausted. All I wanted was to be happy and it wasn’t until I stopped associating my happiness with the number on the scale that I truly learned to be happy.
Movies, commercials and magazines are constantly selling us lies about thinness being the magical answer to all of our problems: vacations are more enjoyable when you’re thin, being thin allows you to wear amazing clothes, being thin gets you your dream body and your dream man…
But those of us who’ve ever been “thin” as a result of eating disorders or any other form of unnatural body manipulation know that thin does not automatically equal happy.
So this is me reminding myself and all of you that your happiness isn’t connected to a number on the scale – it’s about how you feel on the inside.
Today I choose to feel beautiful in knowing my happiness disproves all the lies the media wants me to buy into: I enjoy each and every vacation I take, I do in fact have amazing clothes to wear, I married my dream man and guess what? I’m honestly happy!