Dear Diary Entry 19

I have been on the dating scene for a while (about a year) since my last relationship went caput when my bf at the time decided to have a mini mid-life crisis and decided after 2 yrs that a relationship with a single mother was too much for him. 

 

Started using the dating apps, again! UGH! Low and behold adventures in single mom dating begin! My plus size is something for a man to ponder about – especially when I read a profile and its clearly states that they are looking for someone “athletic” which for me is code word for “in shape”. Don’t get me wrong. I am very happy and confident with my body, although after going out on a date and being asked out again to then get “ghosted” (which by the way I hate that word, but it seems to work) I start wondering: “was it me, the way I looked? Something I said? I tend to overanalyze everything. Not being able to get the answers makes it 10x worse! 

 

My child’s age and my age ratio gives men that I speak with something to ponder about as well. After 50 men are not likely to want to be involved with a person with a younger child. Most are either dealing with teenagers or kids that have become independent. 

 

So how do I deal with this?

 

After a couple of bad acorns in the bunch and lessons learned, I decided to bring it up during the initial texting or talking whichever comes first! Plus, having the “go with the flow” attitude helps so much. I used to go into a date with high expectations and hope. Now I go out and meet a total stranger, enjoy a nice meal, most of the time on him and hum “Que sera, que sera” in my head…. “whatever will be, will be”. It makes for a much more pleasant experience for me. I don’t put so much pressure on myself anymore. 

Its true what they say, things happen when you least expect it. What happened, you ask? I am happy and content.