Dear Diary Entry 1: The Rip Heard Across the Office

Dear Diary,

The most embarrassing thing happened today. I woke up feeling good because it’s Friday and I was planning to run into my crush at the office.

But of course, my favorite jeans wouldn’t let me live. This morning I put them on to make sure they still fit.  They looked so good I had to wear ’em. I noticed the fabric in the thighs was a bit faded and worn, but it’s been that way for years without an issue.

On my way to the office, I felt like a million bucks in my “booty jeans” as my friends and I call them. I imagined how my crush would stare as I walked by.

The day went fine, but when I stood up to walk by my crush I heard a loud rip. I heard a few laughs and things got real quiet. I looked down and didn’t see anything ripped in front, but I heard a voice say “uhmmm.” I grabbed the first thing I could find off my desk, covered my backside, yelled “sorry” and ran to the ladies room.

Half of my cheek was out and all I could think about was how much anyone saw, if I was wearing cute underwear, and do they think I farted?!!!

I ended-up texting my boss to lie about getting sick and having to go home. I snuck to my car with paper towels hiding the rip and couldn’t tell whether I was laughing or crying when I called my bff to tell her what happened.

Forever Humiliated,

Anonymous Writer