I went down a few clothing sizes thanks to an ulcer, and ever since, I get a lot of compliments. Isn’t it sad that in this society it’s better to be ill and skinny/skinnier than healthy and fat/fatter?
So now I’m constantly struggling with the way I see myself.
I don’t feel happy because I can’t eat what I want, but I don’t want to lose the attention and appreciation I get from other people (I know, it’s very shallow to let the opinion of others get to me, but I can’t help it).
Every time I’m eating something that tastes good and makes me happy, I feel sad and guilty…
When I was curvier I felt guilty and unhappy when eating, because it felt like I had no willpower to say no to delicious food, and now I feel guilty and unhappy when I indulge in tasty food because in my head I want to stay the size I am now, but my body doesn’t seem to want to let me.
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