I get lots of DM’s from GWC readers and I love hearing from you all. It means the world knowing you trust me with some of your personal stories, questions, and often times your darkest secrets. A recent message concerning milestones and the fact that this person hadn’t even began to accomplish anything on her goals list at the age of 26 really struck me. It brought me back to being 26 and single, fresh out of a bad relationship, thinking I wasn’t going to find anyone to be with, let alone marry, and I definitely didn’t think I was was going to find my way into doing anything I was passionate about, because I made the mistake of not pursuing my dream to work in fashion a long time ago. It was woe is me on a daily basis and it sucked, A LOT.
One day I literally said out loud: let me just find someone who is patient, kind and understanding. And let me find my way into something I love, regardless of how much money I make or where I end up, I just want to be excited to wake up everyday!
I was happy to be out of the bad relationship I finally had the courage to leave vs. feeling sorry for myself for wasting so much time. I was able to accept my failed attempts at changing my career path as experiences, and ready to focus on MYSELF for once. I stopped feeling like a failure because I was still living at home at 26, still figuring out what I really wanted to do with the rest of my life. All of the things I used to be so hard on myself about were suddenly okay, because I told myself they were. I stopped polluting my thoughts with regrets and started thinking of all the things I could do and pursue now that I was single, looking for a new job and had the freedom to really explore the career I wanted because I didn’t have rent to pay like so many others my age.
Dave and I reconnected after meeting just once 7 years prior, I found a new job that not only paid well, but it was doing something I was actually excited about. And I reconnected with some of my best girlfriends I’d lost touch with, because I was so focused on my romantic relationship that I forgot to nurture the friendships I cherished most.
And in taking control of my life back, I found a good friend in someone who not only proved to adore me in the way he spoke to me and treated me – he genuinely cared about my hopes and dreams, and did everything in his power to make me see my own value, and my own potential in achieving every goal that seemed so far off, from the moment we met. He was the honest, caring guy I asked for months before, and he came with all the things I didn’t even know I really needed! Like the belief that I was beautiful inside and out, which gave me the confidence to LIVE again. It was Dave that helped me see that I was worthy of truly being happy, regardless of the fact that I wasn’t living in my own apartment yet, or working at my dream job YET.
And society, TV shows and movies make us feel as if we’re constantly racing against time because we’re so far behind. But the truth is, things will happen for us all when they’re supposed to, for all of us.
I got married at 29, started this blog at 30, had my first baby at almost 33, my second at almost 37, and while I’ve achieved lots of personal goals, I have so much more to accomplish, and guess what? THAT’S OKAY!
If I had everything I have now – a husband who’s my best friend and business partner, two kids and a fur baby who keep me on my toes, a non-stop, busy hustle of a career that’s constantly changing from day-to-day, presenting new challenges and growing opportunities, I honestly wouldn’t have been able to handle any of it because I didn’t even begin to discover who I was until I turned 30, let alone know who I was or what I really wanted at 26!
Some of us know who we are, what we want and how to get it very early on, and some of us don’t. Some of us live what feels like an entire lifetime, then start a new one all over again, whether it’s a new relationship, a new career or something else that takes us in a completely different direction. Some of us wait to become mother’s at 40, while some of us embrace it head on as young as 18.
The beauty in life is there are no rules and there is no right way, therefore the idea that we should accomplish certain milestones by a specific age is a complete myth. The imaginary deadline we’re chasing only exists in our minds.